Occasionally, our friends abroad feel compelled (or forced) to provide us a bit of commentary into their lives and experiences. A fitting intro to summer’s segue into fall and a darker, colder climate, here’s a sombre reflection from eastern Europe. As is mentioned below, “there is no moral to this story, and it ends here…”

“A good friend called me on the phone the other day. He sounded very strange, serious. His reason for calling was to ask a favor of me. He couldn’t say what the favor was over the phone, so I blew it off as a result of my apocalyptic hangover and the Czech version of unsolved mysteries running a marathon on ct 2. Its now two days later, and I finally found time in my busy schedule to meet him. He handed me an ounce of the chronic and explained to me that his apt was about to be raided by the pigs on account of some of the e he sold to a film crew inspired a twenty one year old polish girl to attempt a tight rope walk across a beam that linked two four story windows over the center of Prague. Of course, due to the laws of gravity and re uptake inhibitors, the girl plunged to her death, presumably splattered on the cobblestones four stories below. The cops let her body lie there in the sun for about eight hours while they investigated the possible homicide. The gentleman that purchased the e directly from my friend was the boyfriend of this girl. He admitted to the pigs that he provided the e, and was subsequently escorted to the Czech prison. Operative word being prison, not jail. My friend is now convinced that this dude will talk, and drop his name. His first instinct was to clean house. He gave me the entire weed he had left, and told me to keep it. I got on o for free. Before I took the first rip, I put some energy in the air for the deceased and dedicated the smoke that I usually dedicate to the gods and the mother earth to her. I hope that was enough of an effort to compensate for the fact that ill be getting high for two weeks as a result of some strange sequence of events that led to the death of a young girl. I guess it’s the thought that counts in this situation as well as giving shitty presents to your friends on their birthdays. There is no moral to this story and it ends here.”

–Mitch Cumstein

Mike Rogers - Just A Story || ZYX

Sorry for the serious delays in new content, and new mp3s. packing, rental vans, car repairs, Uffie, its all a bit much. More regular posts to come once we get settled in up north. Until then, here’s a short story from our rockstar friend who got into the Kompakt release party last week in Cologne. Enjoy…

Sooooo the kompakt pary—it was looking so bleak Ellsworth. Ten PM the night of the party and there were no tickets anywhere!! Turns out they’ve been sold out for months! I went to two locations where they had been sold and the ppl there were like.. ‘you dont have a chance!’

You can imagine how upset I was.. I came all the way to Cologne for this party.. I haven’t heard electro since like before I left NYC and basically I could think of nothing worse than missing this party that I was so hyped to attend. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I made my sister sling down a few gins and tonics (we bought gin at duty fre with the only usable source of money we have to our name (my sister’s emergency american express card thats STRICLY for emergencies- I’m sorry but this is one!) and fed her some asprin, the girl was suffering from fever and a bad cold and left hell bent to find the venue prepared to beg, sell myself or my sister, or just cry and throw a huge temper tantrum. We arrive and theres ppl swarming all around. All these lines with signs in german that i cant understand. I meet some DJ from berlin whose friend promised him a ticket into the party but ditched him, leaving him outside to translate for stupid american chicks who can’t read german, namely- me. So we chatted about berlin and nyc, super cute, super german, super exciting conversation. He urged me to try my luck at the press line. I went for it.

I strutted up and um kinda told a bad lie.. i was desperate but i neeeded to! I told them i was from SONICA (pronounced Sonique-A- complete fabrication) Records out of New York and they started searching frantically for my name. My heart was beating soooo fast, I neeeeeeeeded to get in, all I could see was lights and flyers and blond hair and names like Fritz and Heinrich. I wanted to steal a name from the list. but instead I was like, um Sarah Freilich was supposed to have called on my behalf…. ha! This was a proven technique developed our friend Mr Andre K., and it fucking worked. Nessa and I were stamped signed sealed and delivered into Kompakt madness, free of charge!!!!!!!

The party was amazing, no actually, the venue and the setup were amazing, the music was incredible and gave me everything I needed. I saw The Modernist in this small room and Mattias Aguayo and The Roccness. Upstairs were all these small rooms with different labels and companies in them, spinning, chilling, drinking. Each room was designed to reflect their brand and music, it was sooooo coool!!! I heard some great turnes, got some vodka, chatted… everone was soo chill and friendly, you gotta come to this next time!!! I was thiking about you the whole time, being like, ‘this is Ellsworth’s heaven, he could die here and be coronated by angels and be some electro god in paradise for the rest of time.’ It was seriously that good of a party, I’m soooo happy i got in. Now what do you think for tonight: Wighnomy bros, Areal w/ Ada OR Alex Under OR Mattias Tanzmann Musicmaker party…

Here’s a post from our operative in Prague, a certain Mitch Cumstien, a young American doing valiant deeds overseas. This will be the first of several posts over the next year detailing his encounters with all things Czech.

Dude, what up man. you really have to have to get over here. i have to go, but ill leave you with a short story, my night last night. enjoy.

Last night, I met up with this dude that slangs the super chron. I hung out with him and his friends for quite a while, consumed many pints and many shots of Becherovka. After I attempted to stand up and take a piss I realized that I probably cant walk. So I held it in.

As fate would have it, a gorgeous piece of ass sat down right next to me, started speaking to me in czech, which is such a beatiful language when it comes out of a mouth like that. After we established that I was an American and spoke only english, the language of gods, we became quite chumy. After some light pecking and hand exploration, she asked me how old I thought she was. My response was 25, a seemingly safe bet. She looked at me, a little shocked, a little flattered and sad something in broken english that contained the number 17. Holy shit I thought, as i said “17!?”

A wave of relief washed over me as she said, “no no no, not 17.”

Then the knock out punch.

Not 17. Almost 17.

As my half-piss erection ran screaming back into my body I realized that there is absolutely no reason why I should give a fuck about her age. After all, the age of consent in this town is non-existent, or maybe its 15. Either way, I was in the clear, right? Wrong. As we continue the get to know each other process, she reveals that she has a boyfriend in the small town 25 km to the north where she is from.

Strike two, I’m not risking the third, which is probably a bottle to the back of the head. So i went home alone, again. But thats cool, at least I scored the chronic. The moral of the story is that stories shouldnt have morals.

I’ll write more later, peace to the gods and the mother earth.

Mitch Cumstien

So, my hyperactive lil’ sister Lara is studying abroad in France. Last weekend she decided to take a nice little vacation (’cause I’m sure shit is just sooooo rough in Paris) down to Barcelona for Sonar. Unbelievable. Since there is no word in the English language that can adequately express my jealousy (I think there may be a sufficient word in Japanese), I’m not going to waste your time, or mine, ranting about why her 2 Sonars to my nil is one of the greatest injustices this world has ever seen.

No, no…I’m happy for her…Seriously. Anyway, Lara was kind enough to provide a nice little ADD recap that chronicles her travels to Barcelona. This recap was actually posted as a comment on 6/13, but I felt that it was entertaining enough to post as it’s own entry. So, without further ado…

yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! back in paris after an insane weekend of one amazing set after the other. that flyer looked familiar….. oh wait!! i went to 2 of those nights! (should have gone 3 nights in a row, but got sucked into the shit fest of sonar, fuuuuuck.). i forced myself to rank what i saw, so here is my breakdown of Sonar Weekend (note: changes may be made in the near future… still processing and normalizing……..) NUMBER 1: my newest goddess, ELLEN ALLIEN. she played the most trance-inducing flawless 4 hour set of the purest pure electro. that classy bitch rocked it in a silk red dress and silver high heels. siiiiiiiigh… how i want to be her……. NUMBER 2: KiKi on la playa at the B Pitch Control Beach Party (for free!!). by the time the sun started setting and James Holden finished up his totally awesome set (number 3), KiKi jumped on and the crowd was literally dancing there asses off. everyone was barefoot in the sand and sipping on mojitos. such an amazing set and atmosphere. ahhh– there are so many other noteable things to tell about!! i told about how i said hi to james murphy and he was all excited when i brought the atlanta party. (i saw him in the airport the day i flew out, but i had nothing good to say….. oh and i saw james holden on Las Ramblas, but i didnt dare say hi– just smiled to myself and followed him for a few minutes). so saturday night i went to Sonar instead of the Get Physical Party…… i dont want to talk about it……. Sonar turned into Ultra, barca style. fucking shit. miss kitten played the same exact set she played when i saw her here last weekend, which was a huge dissappointment. goldfrapp was the first to come on so we got there for there last song, Strict Machine, which was awesome but i was so pissed we missed them. i wanted to leave to catch at least an hour of MANDY but it didnt happen….. i regret it so much, but i learned my lesson for next summer. the first night i was there we tried to go to the Vice Magazine and Edbangers party…….. no dice. they were only letting the ultimate Do’s in, and you had to have a flyer. FUCKERS! what about the don’ts in this world?!?!?!?!?!?!?! im still pissed. (but uffie will be here july 3rd so i guess ill try to catch that). the first night at The Loft 2 many djs were the worst thing ive ever witnessed in a club. they threw down decent tracks (Uffie - Ready to Uff, Another Excuse vs. Funkytown, a kid alex track) in between such nails-on-the-chalkboard-tracks as… “Shook me all night long” (i thought i was in The Grove for a minute….), “Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow”, MADONNA — in conclusion, not any amount of pills would have made this ok. the next night at the Loft, juan maclean played a decent set - nothing amazing, but nothing as dancefloor-clearing as james - ATL style. i didnt get to see him spin anything thank goodness since ellen was on. welllllllllllllll thats about it. dang, that was the ultimate ADD recap of the weekend, but i wanted to tell all you yanks what was up. WORD. i think i need un biere now………. au revoir for now!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo

P.S. one minor clarification: miss kitten was THE BEST (tied for #1) when i saw her in paris last weekend. the crowd cheered for every single one of her mixes. such great energy– probably almost 1,000 party kids! i dont know what was up at Sonar — trainwrecky mixes and everything. maybe she didnt feel the need to impress the amatures of sonar. i’ll have to ask her about that sometime………. she’s still my heroine for looking so cool behind the decks.